Only get mad when it’s true:

My dad gave me advice once. He said “Don’t get upset by what people say unless it’s true. And if it is, get mad at you not them cause you did it.” I have to say that that is some pretty sound advice.

I have always kept this advice with me. As a trainer you are in the public eye when you promote your facility and bring fighters to shows. This will bring out quite a few opinions from people you don’t know and most likely never will. You can’t let the chatter get to you. If you are doing your job and living right you don’t have to worry.

I am human. I don’t let chatter fall away all the time. I take what I do personally. Attack me all you want. It is when you attack me in a way that disrespects those around me that I get most upset. I live by my way as true as I can. I am passionate about the positive change that can occur from training right. I do bring criticism upon myself when I fall short of my way just like you will. The key is learning from these short trips off the path so they don’t keep happening.

The great samurai Miyamoto Musashi once said “Live life in a way you won’t regret.” If you are living this way, what can someone say to upset you? We all have to live with our actions and how the are perceived.

It all comes down to belief. If you believe in a way then live by it you have nothing to fear. It is when we stray from our way that we open ourselves up for criticism that can get to us. To critic my way is one thing, criticize me for not following my way is another. If your way is strong and true it will withstand criticism but if we fall off of our way we have nothing to fight with. We are the one who failed to stay the course so we bring upon ourselves anything we get.

If you believe something you should feel the need to live it fully. For some it is as simple as a choice because they possess the personal skills and strength to do this. Others need time to develop the strength and the skills. If you need to grow to fit your beliefs you can start with something more manageable. What it takes to do a small task well is the same as a big one. If your goal is to be a world champion you can’t just step into the ring and take on the top guy. You have to set goals and meet them along the way to the top. Every fighter has a first fight. Your 1st goal is yours. Train for it, get in shape, then go for it. Adjust according to the outcome and keep moving forward towards success then a new goal.

Training and conditioning can encompass many different areas. Physical, mental and even spiritual training may be needed. When a goal is significant you usually need all 3. A fight may be personal battles, mental property, day to day work issues, or an actual fight. To me, fighting can be anything because fighting on a competitive level is the one thing I learned to do the rest of my life well. You may be a businessman, a husband, or a father before you are anything else. You have to strip down to your core and see where your base understanding of things comes from.

We all establish a pattern from experience. Our pattern in most cases can be traced to the 1st thing we ever identified with personally and found great success or great failure thru. It is what we tap into when faced with the opportunity to have success or failure. If our base is negative we will more times then not fail but if our experience pattern is positive we will find success more.

It takes a strong and honest person to see their truth. Many of us have negative foundations that we don’t want to see because they are to painful to acknowledge. We have to bolster our strength so we can be truthful about who and what we are so we can deal with this and continue our patterns freely or create new ones.

I had a recent experience with a family member dealing with personal pain. The pain comes from their partner having a terminal illness. Their response has not been what they want. The stress of the knowledge has caused a pattern of behavior that they do not like. In looking at their past they are scared that they won’t be able to handle this new situation.

My answer to the fear and depression because of the identity of a personal truth that is uncomfortable is this. We can’t change who we have been in the past but we can work towards a new reality moving forward. We have to draw a line in the sand of time and commit to only judging ourselves from this point on. This point is a point that we know who and what we are. Every moment forward we are working towards positive and progressive change. We can’t carry the burden of past negativity. We must move forward stronger knowing that we are making new positive patterns from our point of demarcation.

Our past and the patterns we have created can dominate us if not dealt with. We must acknowledge them then let them go. Their weight will be to much for us to carry as we forward in a more positive way.

The reason I love teaching Martial Arts is its direct way of dealing with who we are. You can’t hide from yourself when training. You can only do what you are strong enough to do and what you are skilled enough to understand. It is a simple reality check that can bring you in touch with so much in your life. By seeing the truth we can then act to be strong or continue to ignore the truth and hide from our reality in some other self satisfying but meaning less task.

Have you ever heard the saying “Easy isn’t worth doing”? It doesn’t mean we have to kill ourselves with impossible tasks all the time. The main point is that only thru difficult and challenging tasks can we find growth. Only thru solving problems will we expand our physical and mental abilities.

Your body won’t change without a diverse set of challenges. Your mind won’t expand without a broad range of stimulus. We have to open our lives to as much experience as possible to maximize our potential and create positive change.

If you are unhappy with what people are saying or what you are doing, look for the foundation of your patterns of success or failure. If you are continuing a positive pattern of success you need to identify it and learn from it so it will continue. If you are following a negative pattern you need to draw that line and start on a new path with new patterns. Challenge yourself with something new. Something fresh and free of past distractions. Challenge yourself to do something you have never done before and enjoy it.